CHAPTER 1

A SINGLE LIFE WITH A PURPOSE

In this subject, celibacy and singleness are used interchangeably to mean the state of being unmarried. Celibacy is the state of not being married and voluntarily abstaining from sexual relations, typically for religious or personal motivations. It has been practised by various cultures and religions throughout history. Its origin is traceable back to ancient India, where it was practised by ascetics who believed that sexual desire hindered spiritual progress. The practise of celibacy was also prevalent in the ancient Greece, where Pythagorean philosophers advocated for individuals to abstain from sexual relations to attain a higher state of spiritual and intellectual purity.
In Christendom, celibacy was first recommended by Apostle Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians, where he suggested that unmarried individuals should remain celibate to focus on serving God. The Catholic Church adopted
 
THE HEARTS OF MEN AND THE WILL OF GOD

celibacy as a requirement for priests in the 11th century and it became a hallmark of monasticism in various Christian traditions. Similarly, in Buddhism, monks and nuns are expected to practise celibacy as part of their commitment to the monastic life in the pursuit of enlightenment.
Proponents of celibacy cite various reasons for choosing to abstain from sexual relations, such as spiritual or religious principles, personal values, health and wellness or environmental and ethical concerns related to overpopulation.
However, celibacy is not without controversy and some critics argue it can lead to emotional, psychopathy, repressed sexuality or even sexual abuse in religious communities where celibacy is enforced. The indigenous African religions do not view celibacy in a positive way because it upsets the social and religious order and necessity to replenish the earth after its kind.
Many African religions do not promote celibacy and instead value the importance of marriage and procreation. For example:
1.    Yoruba Religion: The Yoruba people of Nigeria and Benin practise a traditional religion that emphasizes the importance of marriage and family. They believe that procreation is essential for the continuation of the community and the
 
A SINGLE LIFE WITH A PURPOSE

honoring of their ancestors. Celibacy is generally not encouraged, as it goes against the cultural values of the Yoruba people.
2.    Akan Religion: The Akan people of Ghana follow a traditional religion that places a strong emphasis on family and procreation. Marriage is considered a sacred bond, and having children is highly valued. Celibacy is not typically practised or encouraged within the Akan community.
3.    Dinka Religion: The Dinka people of South Sudan adhere to a traditional religious belief system that promotes marriage and procreation. Within their culture, having many children is seen as a blessing, as it contributes to the growth and strength of the community. Celibacy is not a common practise among the Dinka.
Again, these are just a few examples, and there are many other African religions that value marriage and procreation over celibacy. It is important to recognize the diversity of beliefs and practises within Africa, as there is a wide range of religious traditions across the continent.
The modern-day Ghanaian elderly family personality and Christian marriage counselor often rebuke young adults with a popular adage, “this behavior of yours cannot take you to any proper marriage” Even at childhood, the
 
THE HEARTS OF MEN AND THE WILL OF GOD

individual is being wired mentally to believe that celibacy is a sign of antisocial, irresponsible, bad character, immaturity, un-fulfillment, non- achievement etc.
In most churches, more often than not, sermons that are preached on marriage do not touch on what it means to be single, how to serve the Lord in your singleness, or have celibacy elevated as a legitimate calling or vocation in life. Singleness is often treated as an undesirable calling or vocation, analogous to a disease for which marriage is a cure.
Yet, this is not how Jesus Christ or Apostle Paul talked about singleness and celibacy. In fact, both of them, being unmarried themselves, extolled its virtues. Two passages, Matthew 19:11-12 (KJV)
“But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it”
And 1 Corinthians 7:1-40 best exemplify this. Though addressing very different situations, three principles regarding singleness and celibacy
 
A SINGLE LIFE WITH A PURPOSE

emerge from both of these passages.
1.    Celibacy as a Worthy Calling and Vocation In Matthew 19:12, Jesus mentions various types of eunuchs, including “eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” This has generally been understood to include individuals who deliberately remain celibate. The very mention of celibate individuals from the lips of Christ is of great comfort to those who face this as a daily reality. But more than anything else, the very fact that Jesus Christ was celibate himself should carry the greatest weight in this conversation. Jesus Christ never married or had sex, and yet he embodied what it meant to be truly and fully human more than any other person who has ever lived.
In 1 Corinthians 7, the language Apostle Paul uses regarding singleness would almost seem to suggest that he views singleness as superior to marriage. Yet, this is due to contextual factors within the Corinthian church, not the ontological natures of marriage and singleness. Apostle Paul refers to both singleness and marriage as gifts (charisma), the same word he later uses in chapter 12 when describing the other spiritual gifts. Jesus and Paul were both celibate vocationally, yet acknowledged the good that marriage offers (See Matt. 19:4-9, Eph. 5:22-33).
 
THE HEARTS OF MEN AND THE WILL OF GOD

2.    Celibacy as a Gift
In Matthew 19:11-12, Jesus twice mentioned that not everyone will be able to accept what the disciples had previously mentioned about remaining unmarried (Matt. 19:10). Most people, because of their sexual desires, cannot accept celibacy as a lifestyle and are better served and sanctified by being in a marriage. Paul affirms this principle throughout 1 Corinthians 7:2,9, and
36. NIV
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband”. “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion”
“If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married”
It’s worth saying, though it may be obvious, that if you are currently unmarried, then you have the gift of singleness, even if it’s only temporary. If you are able to discern a calling from the Lord to remain single for an extended period of time (perhaps even your whole lifetime), then that is the gift of celibacy. Whether you have the gift of singleness or celibacy, both are gifts that the Lord will give you the grace to steward well.
 
A SINGLE LIFE WITH A PURPOSE

3.    Celibacy is for the Purpose of Service to God. In Matthew 19:12, Jesus affirms that eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs did so “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” Paul also upholds singleness as a means of securing an “undivided devotion” 1 Cor. 7:35 NIV “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” to “the things of the Lord,” (v.32) “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord” as well as developing understanding in “how to please the Lord” (v.32) and “how to be holy in body and spirit” (v.34). Celibacy and singleness cannot be viewed simply as an abstention from sex, but ought to draw all singles into a lifestyle of undivided service to God and to others.
Celibacy is a state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations. To Paul, celibacy is a gift from God and is voluntary. It is not all who have that gift., although he wished every man has it. They can devote full energy of time to God’s work since they are free from marital responsibilities but because of the rampant immorality in Corinth, he encouraged those who cannot exercise self- control and be tempted to commit sexual sin to marry. For it is better to develop a permanent sexual relationship with a wife or husband than to burn with passion and lapse into sexual sin.